How it happened, I'm not sure. I mean you get pregnant, wait 9 months, give birth, go through a bunch of sleepless nights and some transitional phases (especially with baby no. 2) and you end up with a 7 month old. I just can't believe I have this little person already! I have removed the swing and cradle and bouncer chair from my living room. I have reclaimed some adult space and feel like I have a new room!
YET, I'm kinda sad. This is it. I don't own any maternity clothes or nursing bras anymore. I don't have a "sleep positioner" anymore. The swaddling blankets haven't been used for months. I don't even have a need for burp cloths really. I don't have a tiny babe anymore. Evan is well on his way to becoming a toddler.
I have my two beautiful babes. How lucky am I? And a boy and a girl to boot?!!! Some would say I won the baby lottery. But it's just this weird woman thing. I just can't believe I will never be pregnant again or experience a newborn birthed (or cut) from my body again!
And don't get me started on Babies R Us. I ultimately can't stand this store. It is overpriced and they officially have the world's worst return policy on the planet. Yet, this is the #1 store to register for your baby shower. I had to purchase a baby gift so I ventured in a few weeks ago. I admit, I was sucked in. I wanted to buy everything and re-register again and it brought back all the giddy, new, scary feelings I had the first time I was pregnant. I could spend hours walking around looking at all the gadgets, clothing, gear, and equipment.
I have arrived at this space in motherhood where things are really really good. For example, I have been napping both kids at the same time in the afternoon. Can we talk about 2-3 hours of time without either kid? OMG. Fantastic! I can work-out, blog, clean, nap. I have a little bit of a life again! Lauren is self-sufficient on so many levels and she loves to help me clean and organize. Let's just say...Life is good.
I can't imagine starting all over again. I have always imagined my life with two children and never had a desire for more. But this mother-woman-gene sometimes takes over by brain and I want that pregnancy test high. I want the ridiculous joy I get when I share the pregnancy news with friends and family. I want that hospital experience again. (I can do without the c-section) The "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" declaration. That early day newness of just you and the baby and the lack of sleep, wired, aliveness. The greatest joy I have ever experienced.
Yet, we have so many journeys left to travel. So many exciting times ahead of us and our family. It's just crazy how quickly time goes the older one gets. I read Lauren a book today called "I Lost my Tooth in Africa" by Penda Diakite' and illustrated by Baba Wague' Diakite'. Baba shares a Mali, West Africa proverb in her Artist's notes. It hits home today...
"Raising a child is like planting a tree. When it is tended well, you will enjoy its shade."