Friday, December 4, 2009

Through the fog, or looking glass...or whatever...


Yes, it's been like FOREVER since my last post.  I log on and sit here and look at the page and think about all the things I could write about or should write about.  I'm in a funk.  It's like when you go into a really great furniture store and get the itch to redecorate your entire house....It's like, can I stop reading other people's books and write my own????  Can I stay off of Dooce.com and just get down to writing my own blog?  I write stuff here that is just as good and relevant, I'm just not getting paid $40,000 in ad revenue.  (and look, I love Heather Armstrong, I'm just sayin'.......she got in when the gettin' was good and blogs were new and cool and now we are just SAT-U-RATED people!)

So, things are good.  Holidays have hit.  Lauren turned 4.  F-O-U-R ....four, four, four!  (Flashback to 4th quarter at the high school football games when the cheerleaders would rally us up and hold up four fingers and yell it out)  I have this itchy little itch......I'm getting older.  I'm getting restless.  I want to do something.  WHAT?  I have ideas all over the place.  I need another drink.  There was Thanksgiving and decorating the tree and Macy's parade.  Now my son turns ONE next week and I'm like...........huh?  Where in the hizzel did that year go?  And it's just going faster and faster and I'm not one of those people to let life pass me by without ENGAGING. 

Yes, I see and feel and relish the day, the beauty, the love, the joy-filled bucket of chicken that is my life.  I adore it.  But I have never, EVER been able (thus far) to quench this little itch inside that speaks to me of greatness, of possibility.  Perhaps that is the purpose of my life.  Still, we life in this NOW society and I admit I have that disease as well.  SEARCHING. SEEKING.  BEING.

I love that when I call my friend Janet she listens to me blah blah blah about all this and then says..."Yes, but you need to be okay with where you are at, cuz it's really great."  And then I'm okay for awhile.  Working out helps.  Maybe some Xanax would help too...(ha ha) 

So this is what I have for you right now folks:  Twilight series has been read.  Done.  Whew, thank goodness.  It was good fun.  Movies were a little disappointing but I need to see them again.  So, per my usual post-reading a really engaging book funk, I have landed on something that speaks to me.  Loving Frank by Nancy Horan.  New York Times Bestseller.....Frank Lloyd Wright....Oak Park, IL....love affair....complicated.  1900's. 

Off to bed with this read.  I'm 108 pages in. 

I feel better already.

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