Monday, February 21, 2011

Now Entering SPEED ZONE....

I swear I was just here.  In this place.  Hormones and feelings and love and tears of joy all bombarding me.  A new little baby girl.  Mine.  Becoming a family....Becoming a Mom.  Fast forward to Friday.  I registered this little girl, now a five-year-old, my daughter Lauren, for Kindergarten.  K to the capital Kindergarten!  I compiled my necessary papers to prove residency and pulled out her birth certificate.  As I was filling out all the forms, I asked the woman behind the counter if the "family ID number" was different than the "student ID number."  She said, "Yes, and you'll always remember her student ID because that is when she graduates from high school."  I instantly could have burst into tears but I got a grip right quick and told the woman I could actually lay my head down on the table and sob!

But here's the real trip...Her graduation date from high school will be in 2024.  I mean, is that even a real year?  How can that be?  It just seemed like a fake number!  So I go from dreaming of full days, five days of the week without a child asking me "What should I do Mom?, I'm bored" to practically breaking down in an ugly cry at how fast this is all going.....this mom thing.  This "raising your children" thing.  I called my mom (because that's what you do!) and she said, "That is going to be the fastest 12 years of your life!"  She lived it.  She did it.  

When we first moved into this house, my brother-in-law said that the landing right above the staircase will be the place she pauses before making her waltz down the stairs in her prom dress.  When he said it, tears instantly sprang to my eyes!  And again, I can see how quickly we will arrive at this event.  

This winter has been a rough one for me.  As a stay-at-home mom, all the days of being stuck inside during snowstorms, the cold weather, too much T.V. and no place to go can really can get me down.  I'm dreaming of the walks to the park, sitting outside and some sunshine!  So after registering Lauren for Kindergarten I started to realize that despite the rough days, it's a big transition we are about to embark upon this Fall.  All our family time will revolve around the school calendar.  I will be walking to the bus stop twice a day, everyday at an exact time.  

And my first born child will take one tiny step closer to not needing like she does today.  So wonderful and yet bittersweet.  Oh, but wait!  I need to review that list of dreams I still have left to fulfill.  I will always be her Mom.  I will always love her.  But her own journey awaits her as she slowly, ever so slowly, leaves the nest.

1 comment:

  1. So well said :) The days go by so very fast. I often have to remind myself of this when I am griping and moaning about needing time to myself. Mommyhood is the best thing that has ever happened in my life. Hugs