Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Full Circle Memory....

I remember being a young child and seeing a Polaroid photo taped to my grandmother's mirror in her bedroom.  (My family was very fond of the Polaroid!  And who wouldn't be?  Instant gratification!)  It was a photo of me and my sister Tracy and my cousin Robb fresh from the bathtub lined up in front of the T.V. lying on our stomachs, legs up in the air behind us, smiling big and happy for grandma.  I remember thinking that my grandma must have really liked this photo.  It made me happy to see it and I felt loved.  

Now, as a mother myself, I get it.  I get that glorious fresh from the tub smell and wet hair and clean jammie's thing.  That precious moment of the day when everyone is winding down and chilling out.  When all the other "I wasn't a very good mom today" thoughts vanish.  When you know the tucks into bed and a book or two will then equal some alone time, T.V. time, reading time or computer time.  The time that never seems to be enough when you have small children.  So much of the day can seem like unappreciated Groundhog Day moments, but not this little sliver in the day.

Last week at my sister's house we bathed the kids and they piled onto the bed for a movie and "popcorn party" as my sister calls it.  She also likes to "hide" treats in the popcorn for the kids to find.  Love that!  It was in this moment of taking this photograph that I was reminded of my grandma's Polaroid.  I wonder where that picture is now, or if it still exists.  Is it faded and bubbly?  Is it tucked in a box in a closet?  Is it somewhere where my grandma still pulls it out to look at occasionally?  Precious moments in time tucked away in our hearts.  These treasured memories of trips to Tracy's house with all our children loving and learning from one another, fighting and crying.  It's all worth it.  What worth would my life possibly have without these little souls in it?  Still, it's not for the weak!  And I'm not going to deny my struggle to get through this winter season.  Some days I feel like a warrior mom and other days I dream of day care and a part time job.

Oh, how my retirement travels look in my mind!  But today I have a sliver of time that is filled with sweet smelling heads and kisses goodnight.  It won't last forever.  Many moons ago, a Polaroid.  Today, a blog to reflect upon.  

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