Friday, May 25, 2012

Milestones....

Lots of accomplishments....
 ILLINOIS GIRL SCOUT DAISY TROOP #407!
 It was so windy and sunny in the school yard I thought I was going to blow away.  Either that, or the tree!

Last night Lauren completed her first year of Daisy Scouts and I attended the ceremony.  The troop had a tree planted in the school yard with money they made from cookies sales and each girl took a turn giving it a drink of water.  




The commemoration plaque made me choke up.  Then we walked inside and they explained to us all the things they have learned and accomplished.  It's about friendship, togetherness, giving back to the community....Basically thinking about yourself and how you make an impact in the world.  Do you know the Girl Scout motto?

On my Honor I will try:
To serve God and my country,
To help people at all times, 
And to live by the Girl Scout Law.

Well that alone made me cry but then we all got in a friendship circle (right arm over left and join hands) and sang "Make new Friends, but Keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..." (there is much more to the whole song, which you can read here.) I could barely sing or look at any one's face.  I glanced at my friend Ashley (and troop leader) and said "OMG, I'm going to die!"  She gets me.  I can't tell you how many times we are talking and one or both of us tear up about something random.  It's an unspoken beauty of our friendship.  I get her too.

 Troop Leader Ashley presents Lauren with daisies...
 "Congratulations on completing your first year as a Daisy Scout...."
(Sob.)
 Her first year pin!
And then I could have cried when the troop leader said "Your scout will wear this pin throughout her entire lifetime of scouting."  Somebody get me some xanax.

Something happens after you have a child.  I have always considered myself an emotional person.  As I child I would say I was a big crier.  But from the moment that baby was placed in my arms a shift occurred inside my soul.  Deep down in the cracks and crevices of my heart I was alive for the first time.  Suddenly I was in on the big secret only parents know.  Now THIS is what life is all about!  Now THIS is what I've been missing!  And then I never stopped crying!  I remember sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery at our first home and just feeling like I would physically die if I couldn't be with this baby....smell her, touch her, feed her, read to her.  Everything else seemed so silly and inconsequential.  Going back to work?  Well, you might as well have asked me to travel to the moon in a hot air balloon.

So I've continued to cry about all the milestones moments in her life.  But this ceremony was all about her joining an after school club, new friends, a life that I don't know much about.  I see her growing up everyday.  Changing and moving and becoming more and more independent.  I love it.  I never believed it would go so fast.  But inside my heart are those precious times and moments to reflect upon through the tween and teen years when hormones rage and personalities change!  She was my first.  I was my mom's first child and I don't care how you justify and tell your kids you love them all equally, it's a pile of garbage!  There is something extra special about your FIRST child.  (I remind my mom and my sister this all the time!)

So let this just be a precursor to the "Farewell to Kindergarten" Ceremony....I'm gonna need a double dose of meds.  Oh, wait, I'm not on any.  Maybe that's the problem!

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