Tuesday, July 17, 2012

A Day in the Life....

 Brother Bro feel asleep early so Sis and I chilled out by ourselves watching a show we enjoy....
 Sunday morning coffee on the patio with big blue dog umbrellas....
 Goofy Freckle Faces....
 Just a few more minutes of iPad before bed....
 Sis is working on pulling out yet another loose tooth...
 A pink sunset on Sunday night....
Swimming lessons started on Monday morning.  Today we stayed at the pool afterwards for big slides, a picnic lunch with friends and overall happiness.  Evan refused to take his lesson yesterday after 15 minutes of his instructor working with him.  "I want mommy" was all I heard from the sidelines as my frustration and blood pressure and anxiety rose.  I'm not a Tiger Mom, but he's recently been in the pool or beach for a week straight and has been to a water park where he was fearless.  For the love, it's water where your feet TOUCH the bottom!  And yet again motherhood moment presents yet another test of patience, understanding and even more lessons.  These lessons never stop!  Today he asked me to bring him over to his area and promptly stepped right in.  His instructors said, "Well, that's not what we expected to happen today!"  Lauren and I spent 24 hours working him over on every level.  But when we stepped foot into the pool area I just let go.  I decided whatever will be will be.  If he does the lesson, fine.  If not, fine.  And in that letting go came his decision.  This mom thing never has a dull moment.
Little love dog crashed after pool time....
He's his own person and he'll do things in his own way.
While buddy crashed, sis and I had a picnic on my bed with Pandora radio on my phone, potato chips, string cheese and crackers.  It was blissful.  She is growing up everyday so much so that I can almost feel it. It is like a live wire. I can sense a shift in which our relationship with strengthen, change and grow.  This summer proves it.  Today she went on the big slide at the pool as many times as time would allow.  Two years ago I remember her fretting and freaking out about her last day of swim lessons when you have the option to go down the big slide.  She wanted to do it so bad.  She was so worked up and so scared.  And just like that, she walked away from me today.  Slowly, slowly she finds her own ground to stand upon.  Letting go and coming back to picnic in my bed on a Tuesday afternoon.
In between children snuggling in bed with me, cat napping, looking up new songs we like, and snacking in bed (hubs hates crumbs in the bed!  I hope we wiped them all away!)  I finished my last few chapters of Wild by Cheryl Strayed.  I have read it in just a few days, devouring it, counting ahead to see how many chapters are left, not wanting to read it too fast, yet I couldn't stop.  And I cried at the beautiful perfect ending.  I cried because it was over.  I reread the last few paragraphs.  I read the acknowledgements twice.  That is one of my favorite parts of any book.  The acknowledgements and dedication in the front.  Much like Shirley MacLaine said that when she won her Oscar the first time, she knew exactly what she would say in her acceptance speech (as she'd been preparing for this moment her whole life, I know exactly who my book(s) will be dedicated to and who is on the list for acknowledgements.  Cheryl Strayed inspired me to go forth and map out my publishing dream.  Heck, just write down some random ideas in a journal.  Ideas are limitless, but what you do with them is the real work.  

She also reminded me that today is all we have and just to be okay with wherever we are in that space.  Today it was swim lessons, the pool and a picnic in bed with catnaps.  I'm pretty okay with that.  Yet the desire mounts within.  And that desire is what sustains me.

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