Tuesday, May 13, 2014
I love my children with equal parts love and longing.
Longing to let go...Let them move amidst the Earth without being tethered to me.
Longing to pull them back into my arms and smell their necks,
gently push back hair and let my eyes fall into their deep blue pools of cool water on a humid day.
Will my heart break when you get on that school bus this Fall?
Will my heart break again, as it's done hundreds of times already?
Or will I slowly wave and smile and walk back to the house, sit down in the quiet space;
shoes scattered by the front door, peanut butter knife in the sink...
Will I slowly pick up, clean up, tidy up my heart?
Pick up the pen and begin again.
The day my daughter was born my Mother told me that life is now a series of FIRSTS.
The first time she laid eyes on me.
My eyes on her as I watched her take her last breath.